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Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: BW
Date: May 17, 2006 03:48PM
This is not a joke -- I'm actually writing headlines for recruiting donors for a sperm bank. Pretty much a dream assignment for any writer. Of course, we can only use about 1 out of 100.

The target is college students and college educated men ages 18-41. Humor is great, but not references to the, um, method of extraction (DIY) or all the babies you'll help father. It's mainly an easy way to make extra cash.

Ideas?
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: $tevie
Date: May 17, 2006 03:52PM
No penalty for early withdrawal.



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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: BW
Date: May 17, 2006 04:06PM
I'm still trying to figure out a way to make "an army of millions" work...
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: mick e
Date: May 17, 2006 04:24PM
• You know you are going to do it anyway, why not get paid?

• You peel one off, and then we will (picture of roll of dollars).




Unpaid Social Liaison



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/17/2006 04:28PM by mick e.
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: brofoski
Date: May 17, 2006 05:32PM
Seed the world!
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: PeterB
Date: May 17, 2006 05:54PM
"Every sperm is wonderful, every sperm is good-- and we want yours."

"The Few. The Proud. The Donors."

"Make a deposit in the bank, and reap the rewards."

"Be a man. Help a couple in need."




Freya says, 'Hello from NOLA, baby!' (Laissez bon temps rouler!)
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: Seacrest
Date: May 17, 2006 07:30PM
Five minutes of fun could bring joy for a lifetime.





I am not Ryan Seacrest, and I do not approve this message.
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: Furiously Stylish
Date: May 17, 2006 09:47PM
Sperm donation: make someone else happy too.

Instant gratification — you just can't beat it!

Set up an account, and we won't try to give you a cheesy toaster.

Stop giving it away and get paid today!
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: BW
Date: May 17, 2006 09:54PM
I was actually considering "We're looking for a few good men."...
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: macaroo
Date: May 18, 2006 06:56AM
Use our convenient night deposit box.
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: Lux Interior
Date: May 18, 2006 07:20AM
Why let Johnny Appleseed have all the fun?

"Hi! I'm Stevie Spermspreader!"
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: raz
Date: May 18, 2006 08:24AM
Make a deposit, and lose interest



--------------

Embarassing myself on the Internet since 1978.
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: incognegro
Date: May 18, 2006 08:51AM
"Come one, come all!"
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: Furiously Stylish
Date: May 18, 2006 09:15AM
It's better than golf. No penalty for extra strokes, every shot is a hole-in-one, no roughs to deal with, and …

… you'll never even lose a single ball!
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: mick e
Date: May 18, 2006 10:39AM
...not... going... to... take... the... bait...........




Unpaid Social Liaison
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: MikeF
Date: May 18, 2006 11:24AM
Make extra money by lending a hand
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: bernadette
Date: May 18, 2006 11:48AM
Quote
mick e
...not... going... to... take... the... bait...........

You're my hero mick e. You must have determination by the truckload. I wouldn't even think of going there.
Just remember...MEMO.
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: Furiously Stylish
Date: May 18, 2006 12:20PM
15 out of 17 are on topic.

Not too shabby, considering …
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: mick e
Date: May 18, 2006 12:23PM
Only a few of the posts are by a humorless, one-nutted gunfreak imbecile.




Unpaid Social Liaison
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: bernadette
Date: May 18, 2006 12:48PM
Oh I forgot...
Hi Tubbs.
Make that 15 out of 18.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/18/2006 12:49PM by bernadette.
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: bfd
Date: May 18, 2006 12:52PM
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: Pops
Date: May 18, 2006 02:16PM
Quote
mick e
...not... going... to... take... the... bait...........

ROFL! You have remarkable testicular fortitude.
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: bfd
Date: May 18, 2006 03:03PM
Not to mention the intestinal fortitude…

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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: Effin Haole
Date: May 18, 2006 07:05PM
This is the best I can think of off the top of my head, more tomorrow...

We'll Pay You for Private Banking

Give Maximum Returns With A Single Investment

Donate a little bit of yourself for others

Give a little, get a lot

A Great Bank Needs Great Donors



Strength without compassion is brutality. Compassion without strength is weakness.

We must train our minds to desire what the situation demands.
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: cbelt3
Date: May 18, 2006 10:37PM
Appeal to Heartstrings:
Photo of very sexy sad childless mother.
I want to have a baby, but we can't. Will you help me ?

Appeal to Vanity:
Photo of Albert Einstein with a few little photoshopped Albert kids in hand.
Share your genius with the future. Donate today !

Appeal to poetic trailer Trash:
Photo of Britney..
" Come help me swell. I'll be grateful as hell !"
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: bernadette
Date: May 19, 2006 02:12PM
Is ones sperm count as high if one only has one testicle?
Maybe I should google it?

TIA.
That's it, on the posters just put "Thanks in anticipation, we await your donation with bated breath".
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: RgrF
Date: May 20, 2006 12:31AM
Quote
bernadette
That's it, on the posters just put "Thanks in anticipation, we await your donation with bated breath".

Would that not defeat the purpose? If sperm and spittle are to mix, this might not be the right place. smiling smiley



"Who's more foolish - the fool or the fool that follows him?" - Obi Wan Kenobi
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: bernadette
Date: May 20, 2006 02:11AM
Quote
RgrF
Quote
bernadette
That's it, on the posters just put "Thanks in anticipation, we await your donation with bated breath".

Would that not defeat the purpose? If sperm and spittle are to mix, this might not be the right place. smiling smiley

Did you know Hitler was supposed to have had only one testicle?
I think I'll Google it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/20/2006 02:11AM by bernadette.
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: Spock
Date: May 20, 2006 05:19PM
Their life in your hand.




Oh well ......
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: RgrF
Date: May 21, 2006 05:04AM
I was thinking of you.



"Who's more foolish - the fool or the fool that follows him?" - Obi Wan Kenobi
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: Effin Haole
Date: May 21, 2006 09:44PM
Plant a seed where it will do the most good.



Strength without compassion is brutality. Compassion without strength is weakness.

We must train our minds to desire what the situation demands.
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: Robert
Date: May 23, 2006 07:30PM
A secretary at the local sperm bank was fired when she got pregnant.

It turned out she was embezzling.
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Re: Help me write sperm bank headlines
Posted by: wave rider
Date: May 29, 2006 02:32AM
Your emission is our mission...

=wr=
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